I can’t believe its’ been ten (10) years since I lost my brother, Joey Kubat, way too young. I think about him every day. I’m devastated, but I learned so much from him when he was alive and even more after he died.
LIVE LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW.
Take that trip!
Tell the person you love them
Love with abandon
In college, Joey and his friend were in the car and heard that an airline was having a 2-for-1 flight sale to Hawaii. They immediately went to Honolulu for the semester and had the time of their lives.
When his job as a copier salesman was awful, Joey took a job in Club Med teaching kids how to sail.
He didn’t have regrets about things he didn’t do.
SAY NO TO THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO DO
Saying no will free you up for things you DO want to do. We only have a certain amount of time on this earth, and you better use it wisely. There are so many trips to take, things to learn and read.
ALWAYS BE KIND
You don’t know what people are going through. Always be kind.
Because of that, ten years later, I still have people reaching out to me, telling me what an effect Joey had on their lives.
When my boyfriend in my 20s broke up with me, I was heartbroken. Joey came over and slept on the floor next to my bed to be there for me.
BE NICE TO KIDS AND DOGS.
Cause, of course. Joey just exemplified that every day.
BE AUTHENTIC.
Joey was in sales later (after club med), and the reason so many people liked working with him was that he was authentic. He was NOT a bullshiter. (But he was a jokester - there is a difference)
BE CREATIVE
I loved getting letters from Joey - he would always include funny cartoons. He also could crack you up.
BE SPONTANEOUS
One of Joey’s favorite phrases was, “Why wouldn’t I?” And I just absolutely loved that. He was always up for a last-minute road trip.
PAY ATTENTION / BE MINDFUL
After Joey died, I had a dream about him, and he was telling me to pay attention. Be in the moment. Be present. We all need to be more mindful. This was a good reminder for me.
When Joey died, it put everything in perspective. The people who matter showed up. They didn’t say, “Is there anything I can do for you?” They just did it. It was wonderful. Now before I lost Joey, I was one of those people that said, “Is there anything I can do for you?” Now I know; you just have to do it. Do anything to let that person who lost someone they love know you care.
Don’t be afraid it will be awkward - it probably will be, but it is more important that they know you care. I think it takes losing someone you love to learn this.
To lose someone is crushing. Humbling. Crushing. Devastating. But you have to keep going. Every day. One step in front of the other.
And you won’t get over losing that person. You never will. You will need to learn how to live with it. And be grateful that you had that person in your life. I know I am so grateful I got to be Joey’s sister.
